Looking Back through Seeing Eyes

For ten years of my life, from age five to age fifteen, my brother who was three, my sister who was a baby, and I were placed in foster care. It's sad but true. I was an abused child; some would even say I was a tortured child. I woke up, it was dark, and I thought to myself, Is this a dream? Did I cry myself to sleep? Did I lose consciousness because I'm in this basement on a concrete floor in a small closet with a lot of tools and bugs, and the door is locked I can't get out? This was not like all the other punishments; this one was different. "No, I don't want you to do that to me. I'm only ten years old." "You know, I've been watching you all this time. Didn't you see me looking at you sometimes?" Then he put his hands on me. That's when my whole life changed. I lived in fear not knowing who or what was going to happen to me next. It was scary to me. Everything that happened to me at this young age left me with a very low self-esteem. I felt very ugly, I had no confidence in myself, I didn't even love myself, I didn't believe in myself, I felt worthless, and I felt that nobody really truly cared about me.